What weights do you actually need for strength training?
Plus: When to go up in weight — and how much to add
A reader named Cheyenne recently asked:
A question about heavy weights: I know it’ll be different for everyone, but do you have advice for what increments of weight to add? I can’t really afford a gym membership or more than one new set of weights right now, but it’s become very clear I’m more than ready to move up from 5 pounds. I’ve been putting off getting a new set, though, because I’m not sure how people decide what size to invest in next.
This is a great and complicated question, and one I haven’t really explored in depth, so let’s get into it — and some related subtopics — today.
As always, the annoying truth about fitness advice is that the best answer is pretty much always “It depends.” So bear with me, because as we break down different elements of this topic, the details will be slightly complicated. But nothing too inside baseball or fitness nerdy, I promise!
And finally, I will be talking about specific numbers in this post, which can be tricky. If you know that your brain gets into a very competitive, all-or-nothing, must-get-a-gold-star, or just icky comparison-ish place when you read about things like how much weight someone might be lifting, please take care. Everyone is different, and you may require much lighter or much heavier weights than what I’m talking about here, and that’s okay! And: The numbers discussed below are vast generalizations, so please adjust accordingly. Finally, be kind in the comments. (An evergreen rule here!)
If I only have space or budget for one set of weights, what should I get?
The simple answer here is: Start with something moderate. I probably wouldn’t get only one set of teeny tiny weights, or only one set of incredibly heavy weights. If you just have one option, you want it to be usable for as many exercises as possible. For some of us, that might be something in the 5, 7, or 10-pound range.
If you have the chance to test out some dumbbells before you buy them, grab a pair and try doing:
Bicep curls until you get close to failure
Bent-over rows until you get close to failure
Squats until you get close to failure
What I’d be looking for is a set of weights heavy enough that I got close to failure on the bicep curls within about 6-8 reps, on rows within about 8-12 reps, and on squats within about 12-15 reps (maybe more, tbh). Give or take! Curls are generally a lighter-weight exercise, rows are more moderate, and squats tend to be easier for going heavy-ish, so if we’re using the same amount of weight we should be able to do only a few reps of curls, a moderate number of rows, and a high number of squats.
If it feels like you have to keep curling for more than 12 reps to get close to failure, you definitely need a heavier weight for this single set. If you can only do a few squats and can barely do any curls or rows, you need a lighter weight.
What if I can get two or three sets?
If you have space and budget for an additional set beyond the one we discussed above, I would go up from there. Find something maybe 25-50% heavier than your first set so that you can get lower-body and other heavier exercises done more efficiently. (So if you started with a set of 5s, maybe it’s time for a set of 10s.)
And if you have space and budget for a third set — nope, I’m not going to say get a lighter set. Go even heavier. You’re likely to outgrow the second set before too long for certain exercises, especially things like deadlifts, so get an even heavier set (i.e. if your second set was 15s, go for 20s.)
There is utility in having a very light set, lower than your starting-point moderate weight: These can be used for things like wrist and forearm strengthening, scapular stability exercises like Is/Ts/Ys, and a few others (and if you decide to do a barre class video at home!). Consider this a bonus if you have even more space and budget; luckily, the tiny weights don’t cost much money or space. And of course, as you keep progressing, you may need heavier and heavier weights (and maybe a few in-betweens), which is admittedly extremely annoying. But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. It’s a good problem to have.
I’m going to say it a million times: These numbers are examples. If your starting-point weight is more like 10 or 15, adjust! If it’s more like 2 or 3, adjust! And of course if you have a health condition or injury that precludes you from lifting heavy weights, ask your health care provider for guidance on what kind of resistance training would be best for you!
How should I adjust exercises to work for the weights that I have?
Remember that when it comes to training for general strength and muscle mass, our goal is not really a specific weight or rep range — it’s to get close to failure in a set. I linked to this piece above, but here’s another link right below; give it a read or listen if you have time.
How heavy do you really need to lift?
I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of failure lately — not in life or work (as my beloved colleague Dana G. Smith used to say during our weekly Covid-era team Zoom checkins, “I’m fine, it’s fine, everything is fine!!!”), but in the gym.
That means that for most exercises, we really can use a range of weights to reach that goal. We just need to adjust how many reps we’re doing! So if your only weights are “too light” for squats, you probably need to do more squats. If your only weights are “too heavy” for your overhead press, but you can still do a few reps with good form, just do those few reps!
There are certain exercises for which this is just going to be tricky. For exercises that focus on small muscles, like lateral raises, bent over flys, Is/Ts/Ys, even tricep extensions (if you’re like me and can barely move any weight with your triceps!), a moderate or heavy weight may just not be doable at all — your form is going to get wonky and weird, or it’s going to hurt, and it’s just a bad scene. However, most of these exercises can be done with bodyweight or resistance bands instead: More on that ahead.
And of course, for some exercises, we really need some seriously heavy weight to be able to get close to failure; things like hip thrusts, weighted bridges, and deadlifts. (And, for some of us, rows and carries.) These exercises primarily use big muscles, and it takes a lot to fatigue them. So if you don’t have a heavy weight available, you may have to get creative and find some heavy stuff around the house: If you’re a gardener, a bucket filled with rocks, sand, or dirt. A bag or box filled with books. A kid or a dog.
Fitness coach Rachel Rogerson is one of my faves for ideas — and laughs — here (I’ll warn you that her feed does touch on weight loss, so take care clicking through if it’s not a good idea for you, although this reel doesn’t include it):
Do keep in mind that, depending on the size of your hands, your grip strength, and the size and shape of the weights you have, it may be possible to hold two dumbbells in one hand (like in this Shutterstock image I will link to but will not purchase, lol) to increase your options. But again, may. May also not. It’s very awkward.
What about…
Bodyweight?
If you’ve done some of my bodyweight strength workouts, you know they are no joke! There are plenty of bodyweight exercises for which you can get close to failure in a perfectly reasonable number of reps. And you can progressively overload by adding reps, increasing your range of motion (e.g. working your way from a shallow squat to a parallel squat to a deep squat), or otherwise adjusting your positioning to make something more challenging (e.g. going into a deeper hinge position for a bent-over fly). You can also make an exercise more challenging by slowing your tempo wayyy down.
Bodyweight won’t necessarily be “optimal” (my least favorite word) for every single exercise or muscle group, but it can be a really great overall approach if weights just aren’t available.
Resistance bands?
Big fan of bands! And I loved the recent update to ACSM’s resistance training guidelines that said both resistance bands and bodyweight are great ways to strength train, and not necessarily less effective than using dumbbells or barbells — especially if they help you train regularly and consistently over the long term.
The newest resistance-training guidelines are…mostly good, actually?!
·A quick note before we dive in that this post does mention ob*sity, in the context of people who were not included in the research on resistance training that was referenced for the new guidelines (ugh). But otherwise, they surp…
Again, like bodyweight exercises, it’s hard to get at every possible muscle and movement pattern using a resistance band, but you can get pretty damn close. Check out this free guide I made to using bands for tons of common exercises:
The ultimate* guide to using bands in strength workouts
·*Okay, not the ULTIMATE, but a great starting point.
Kettlebells?
I effing love kettlebells. Even if you, like Pete Hegseth (so sorry for comparing you to Pete Hegseth!!), don’t know how to do a kettlebell swing, they’re still really excellent tools for resistance training. Like dumbbells, they come in a range of weights, and unlike dumbbells, they can provide a really nice amount of height from the floor — so they’re good for things like deadlifts, gorilla rows, and suitcase squats, because you can aim to tap them on the floor at the bottom of each rep. Plus, I find them a little awkward, in a good way; a way that helps increase my coordination and grip strength.
Unfortunately, most of us who have access to kettlebells only have a single bell for each weight, not sets. So the big change with kettlebells for most strength exercises is that you may need to switch to a unilateral approach: i.e. bicep curls with one arm at a time, doing all your lunges on one side before switching to the other, a unilateral row, that kind of thing.
A barbell or cable machines?
Ooh, if you have access to a barbell and weight plates, you are golden! You may find that the empty bar (usually 45 pounds) is a good starting point for some exercises but too heavy for others, so look around to see if there’s a training bar available: Those are usually more like 15 pounds. Typical plate systems, especially those that have 2.5-pounders available, make it easy to go up or down in weight very incrementally, which is amazing.
How to get comfy in the weight room (or at least a little less intimidated)
·Before I get into the post today, a quick note: I’ve heard from a subscriber or two who are having trouble playing my videos in the Substack app. Eek! I’m really sorry to hear that and will be working with Substack to try to fix this ASAP. In the meantime, if you can navigate in your web browser to
Same deal with a cable machine. These are an excellent option for so many types of people: folks who are just starting out with resistance training, folks who have proprioceptive and/or interoceptive challenges, folks who just want to make it really dang easy to adjust the resistance of an exercise up or down, literally anyone. I usually opt for free weights because I like the extra stability challenge, but I love a machine too. (They’re also one of the only ways those of us who feel shy about setting up bands for pull-ups can access the vertical pulling movement pattern — love a lat pull-down machine!)
How do I know I need to move up (or down) in weight?
As we’ve discussed, you can make a range of weights work for lots of exercises, mostly by adjusting the number of reps you’re doing. But here’s how to know…
…you should increase the weight (if you can):
If it’s taking you more than 12-15 reps to get close to failure, your workout would be a lot more efficient with a heavier weight. If you’ve been doing 12ish reps at the same weight for a while, try a heavier weight: If you can do at least 6 reps with the heavier option, I’d say you’re ready for it. Remember that you can always start a set with a heavy weight and then finish a few extra reps with the lighter weight, if you like.
…you should decrease the weight (if you can):
If you’re just starting a new strength cycle, or trying a new exercise for the first time, don’t worry about getting close to failure! Your goal for the first session or two can really be to get comfortable with the movements, whether with a light weight or bodyweight. This will help you get the hang of the form and avoid extreme soreness. You can gradually increase from there. So if you’re trying something new and you grab a weight that feels challenging, put it back and find something that feels pretty easy. Go heavy next time, or the time after that!
And if you’re trying a weight for an exercise and it just feels impossible to do more than a rep or two (or any!) without really wonky form — awkward twisting and turning, rounding or arching, weird knee or elbow or shoulder stuff, using momentum — it’s probably too heavy! Try it with a lighter weight and see how it feels. Take your time.
How far up should I move when I’m ready to progress?
There’s an ideal answer here and there’s a realistic answer here. If you’re reading an exercise physiology textbook, it’ll probably tell you that you should never increase weight by more than 10 percent for any given exercise in a given week. Pero like…if you’re starting off with a 5-pound weight, where TF are you going to find a 5.5-pound weight for next week? It does not exist!
So the real answer is, if you’re using dumbbells, you kinda just have to go up to the next available increment. If you’re starting with 5s, get to the point where you have to do 12-15 reps to get close to failure, and then just grab whatever you have available next. Maybe that’s 7s, and you’re at more like 8-10 reps. Or maybe it’s 10s, and you can only do a few. You’ll have to be flexible and adjust accordingly.
I hope that helps. Let me know what other questions you have, or any favorite tips and tricks for navigating this process!
xo
Anna






This doesn’t really help with the cost because they tend to be more expensive, but if space is a main issue for anyone, I got a set of those adjustable weight dumbbells on sale a few years ago, and have been really happy with them! They give me a range from 5-25 in 5lb increments.
Thanks for this, super helpful in better understanding when to move up and how to choose which weight I’m using for at home classes!
1. I bought multiple sets of weights off of Facebook marketplace and it’s been a great cost-saver compared to buying new! I did clean them!!!
2. How much should a kettlebell be compared to your regular weights? I’ve been thinking of buying one and am not sure quite how heavy to go. My middle weight right now is 12 and my highest is 15 though for some legwork, I think I could do 20 if I had them!