The fitness self-check you didn't know you needed
Ask yourself these 6 questions (part 2)
Last week, I talked a bit about the privilege and the pressure of creating this harm-reduction–oriented fitness space — and the reality that eating disorders and diet culture can really twist anything they want into something toxic, if you let them.
Be honest: Is your workout routine working for you?
The central reason why I approach fitness the way I do — teach classes, train clients, and dispense fitness advice without discussing weight loss or aesthetics — is harm reduction. Simply put, I don’t want to cause harm to folks in bigger bodies and I don’t want to trigger anyone in recovery from an eating disorder.
I teamed up with Lauren Burke, LCSW, an Illinois-based therapist and Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, to create a little self-check: a list of questions you can ask yourself to take the temperature on your current approach to movement, and some guidance on steering it back on track if it isn’t serving you the way you want it to.
We came up with a great list of questions, and I shared part 1 last week. Now, let’s dive into the second half of the list.
Am I body checking, or staring in the mirror?
We all experience movement differently, and for some people — especially those with limited proprioception and interoception — exercising in front of a mirror and even tapping the area of the body that should be feeling the movement can be extremely beneficial. Others of us feel like straight-up badasses when working out, and watching ourselves pump iron in the mirror hypes us up!
But for others, it may be easier to exercise in a way that doesn’t feel focused on appearance if we avoid mirrors and body checking, aka scrutinizing certain areas of your body either visually or by touching or squeezing. “There’s no one prescriptive way; it’s not like, oh, your space should never have a mirror,” Burke says. “You’ve just gotta be aware of how it’s impacting you. If I take a yoga class and there’s a mirror, I’m going to go in the back, because it’s gonna get in my head, I just know that. But someone else might need it, because they’re not quite sure what their Warrior II is supposed to look like. Everyone is so different.”
Should you watch yourself work out?
While visually checking your own form can be incredibly helpful, there is a strange kind of fixation — even a form of dysmorphia — that can come along with watching yourself exercise. It’s not something I experience often: I usually work out alone, in my basement; when I’m at the gym, the mirrors don’t weird me out t…
The bottom line: Be honest with yourself about whether mirrors or touching your body mid-workout is helpful or unhelpful for you.
How rigid am I being about my routine?
“It’s not that having a schedule of workouts is a bad thing,” Burke says. “But just check in with your body: If today is Tuesday, and you had planned to do arms today, can your body handle the arms workout today? Are you a little sleepy, but you’re going to feel more energized after you work out? Okay, great. Are you sick? Then you really shouldn’t push yourself. There can sometimes be this rigidity, even in recovery, of like, ‘Well, this is my schedule and this is my day to do my arm workout and so even though I have strep, I’m gonna do it.’ Sometimes it’s okay to take a day! Can you bump it? Can you engage in a little flexibility?”
And: How do I feel if I miss a workout or take a step back in intensity?
Missing a day and noticing how you feel about it can be instructive — it can even reveal sneaky little brain patterns, like the feeling that you were supposed to be “earning” or “burning” a meal with that workout you missed.
It’s also worth noticing how you feel if you need to take a step back in intensity, which, by the way, happens to literally everyone sometimes. Progress is not always linear, but that’s difficult to remember if you’ve been working really hard toward a goal. A reader of mine once shared that she was determined to become a pro at the single-leg deadlift, and hated to use any balance support because she felt like she was cheating or failing. But guess what: Your balance is affected by so many factors that have absolutely nothing to do with how strong or disciplined you are. Things like vision changes, blood pressure, how much you have or haven’t eaten, hydration, whether you had alcohol last night, the barometric pressure in the air! And, yes, sometimes our strength doesn’t always increase consistently either, and that’s okay: You’re still moving, you’re still trying, and so you truly aren’t failing in any way. (Which, by the way, is also true if you’re taking a needed break from movement.)
Are numbers helpful or harmful for me right now?
Strength training can be uniquely powerful for many people in recovery because the whole point is to see numbers go up: the number of pounds you can lift or the number of reps you can do. But numbers are tricky, and if you’re fixating on them or feeling guilty or ashamed about the numbers associated with your workouts — whether that’s minutes, pounds, reps, sets, or whatever — remember that you can absolutely take a step away and still get a great workout. “You just don’t need to write that stuff down if you don’t want to,” Burke says. “And there’s no morality here: You’re not, like, a better person if you lift five pounds more.”
Also important to remember: Those numbers will likely go up quite quickly when you’re first starting out, and then they’ll start to plateau. So please don’t be discouraged when you get to a point where it’s really, really hard to pick up a heavier weight — that’s an incredibly normal part of the strength-building process. My favorite powerlifter, Chelsea Savit, recently shared an Instagram reel about how it took her 10 years to add 2.5 kilos (about 5.5 pounds) to her deadlift. In the caption, they wrote: “I relish the process. I enjoy the challenge. I have fun with it and I don’t get too upset about things not going my way. Much more in tune with when I need to pull back and prioritize rest. I don’t feel entitled to any amount of strength or gains.” Yes!
How does the person I’m learning from make me feel?
If you’re taking classes or sessions (or videos) from a coach or trainer that makes you feel capable, confident, and encouraged, you’re golden. If you like a little tough love and you’re getting that from this person, that’s great too. But if the messaging you’re hearing in an exercise context makes you feel bad about your body, ability, or effort (or your race, gender identity, sexuality, or any other element of what makes you you, for that matter), it might not be the best resource for you. Same goes for the environment you’re in: If you’re hearing a lot of or body-shaming, diety comments from your fellow exercisers, a different gym or studio might be a better fit.
And listen: I’m a ~fitness person~ living in a thin, white, cis, non-disabled body. I’m by no means a shredded, tan, full-beat influencer in an expensive matching set, but it’s also quite possible that getting your fitness advice from someone in a different type of body may feel safer to you right now. That’s perfectly okay! Be honest with yourself about how the person you’re learning from makes you feel, and find a different person if needed.
Who or what am I blaming if the workout isn’t working for me?
Not to be a broken record, but everyone is truly so different. We all have different body shapes and sizes, activity histories, ranges of motion, comfort levels, and more: It all affects how we move. This means that modifications and progressions aren’t just about strength — they’re about adjusting exercises to meet you where you actually are.
But who hasn’t been in a workout situation where you just aren’t capable of doing one of the exercises, and you aren’t given other options? It feels terrible, and it often feels like your fault. FRIEND, IT IS NOT! It’s like how I tell my kids when they outgrow their jeans: “The jeans are too small!” and never that their body is too big: The exercise isn’t right for you! And it was the instructor’s job to give you a better option, and they didn’t.
(On this note, if this ever happens to you in one of my workouts, I want to know! I always do my best, but I’m guaranteed to forget to offer certain options, and it’s not because they aren’t worth offering — if you nudge me on it, I’ll do better next time, and your fellow How to Movers will thank you.)
If you find yourself in this situation often, and your brain is defaulting to guilt or shame, it’s a sign that, first, you may need a different workout resource; and second, you might want to examine that instinct toward guilt or shame with some curiosity and self-compassion.
What’s my mood like when I’m done?
Just as you started with a quick deep-breath and emotional check-in session, try to make time to do the same afterwards. How do you feel physically? Mentally? If you’re sweating and sore, does that feel good? Scary? Just take the time to scan and name your feelings.
If you’ve taken a yoga class, you’ve probably experienced the end-of-class moment of presence, reflection, and gratitude, maybe even bowing your head and sharing a Namaste. Those yogis are really on to something: “[Western] culture doesn’t encourage it as much, but feeling gratitude for our bodies, for what they did today, for getting to class,” says Burke, can be a powerful way to keep that mind-body connection going so that the exercise you’re doing is genuinely supportive of your wellbeing.
I’ll repeat what I shared last week: If some of these questions brought up concerns for you, don’t panic: but do take some action to make adjustments and find resources that support your recovery. Burke recommends the workshops and trainings from the Center for Body Trust, the Intuitive Eating counselor directory, and the Psychology Today “find a therapist” tool. It’s not always easy to find a therapist that fits your needs and takes your insurance (or works with your budget), but please keep trying; remember that you can also start with your insurance’s online directory and research the backgrounds and profiles of therapists that accept your plan.
What questions would you add to this list? How do you know that a movement practice is the right fit for you?
Thanks so much to the wonderful Lauren for all the help with this list! You can learn more about her work as a therapist and intuitive eating counselor (she does both in-person and virtual sessions!) right here.
xo
Anna