Earlier today, Zoë Bisbing and I went live on Substack for an interview about body image, exercise, and how to talk to your kids about it all. We had such a fantastic conversation, and I’m excited to share it with you all!
We kicked off our chat with some questions that aren’t about kids — just in case it’s not a topic you’re particularly interested in — but, as we discussed, so much of the kid-related questions may be interesting to you anyway, since a lot of body image work is about “reparenting,” and even just understanding how the environment you grew up in may have affected you.
A few favorite tidbits and insights from our chat:
Movement for appearance does not improve body image:
“Any effort to exercise as a means of shaping the way you look... that will not help your body image. … Body image is here [gestures to head]. It’s actually not something we can improve by the way we physically look.”
Modeling movement to our kids is powerful, but the approach matters:
“If we’re modeling movement in a non-disordered, non-diet culture-y way, we’re doing a lot of very positive things... Provided that we’re not overly identified—my worth is measured by how fit I am—as opposed to ‘I’m passionate about my career as a fitness instructor.’”
Framing movement around function helps kids (and adults too!):
“The function of the body... speaks to that embodiment piece: ‘I have a body, I live in it.’... This has nothing to do with what it looks like.”
A helpful way to encourage activity is by asking kids what kinds of movement they enjoy:
“My favorite question to ask kids: ‘What’s your favorite way to move your body?’ And make it clear there’s no right or wrong... climbing monkey bars is just as valid as running or stretching.”
Using family values to encourage movement without singling out a child:
“As a family, we move together. That’s just what we do. It’s not about you and your body. This is just what we do as a family.”
Social media literacy starts at home, casually and early:
“Hopefully [kids] feel this cognitive dissonance: ‘The world says this, but at home—which is a place I trust—we do it differently.’... We talk about things like steroid use casually. Like, ‘Wow, you can’t trust anything you see on social media.’”
Also just noting a couple of great resources we referenced:
Oona Hanson’s excellent piece about boys and body image:
And the whole chapter in Virginia Sole-Smith’s Fat Talk about kids and sports.
For so, so much more, please watch or listen to the video. And make sure to subscribe to Zoë’s excellent newsletter, Body-Positive Home with Zoë Bisbing!
xo
Anna
