How do you even look for your exercise Thing?

15 really good ideas from actual people on how to find movement you'll actually do

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

I got a fascinating email from a reader named Alicia recently about her fitness ~journey~:

Personally, I found it very difficult to identify what type/level beginner I am before getting started! I sampled so many beginner workouts on YT which absolutely wrecked me (too advanced? Not enough focus on form?) or just felt _wrong_ for me (e.g. I had big boobs and a big belly and a lot of jumping/bending/crunching made me feel absolutely horrible in my body). 

In the end I found my niche in workouts targeted at seniors! No jumping around or repeatedly getting down on/up off the floor. I started with the very basics (with 2lb weights) and I'm focusing on consistency rather than quick progress. I'm on holiday now and I brought my 4lb weights to keep at it!

All this to say, I feel like I have a good plan now, but it took me a couple years of trial and error to figure it out. It can be overwhelming with everything that's out there! I would have found it useful if someone had advised me on exactly where/how to start, and told me that it's ok to choose exercises you enjoy and can manage, rather than attempt the wrong ones and then beat youself up.  (Not sure if this is even something you could do via a newletter, though, maybe this is where a personal trainer/class would have come in? But I'm determined to DIY it and I think many beginners are too...)

First of all, great tip to check out workouts geared toward seniors, especially if jumping, frequent position changes (on the floor, back up again, etc.), and pretzel-y positions don’t feel great to you.

But as for the main question here — can someone tell me exactly where and how to start? — the beauty and the pain in the ass of exercise is, no, not really! Fitness is not one-size-fits all: We all have different bodies, experiences, likes and dislikes (to Alicia’s point!), and personalities; it’s impossible to know if what feels fun and sustainable to me will actually be all that great for you.

I think this is part of why we focus so much on what’s “optimal”: It’s a lot harder to figure out what you want to be doing, and what you can do long-term, than to look up what you “should” be doing. (Lotta scare quotes in here, but that’s how I feel about standard exercise guidelines, friends.)

I also think this is why, for some of us, signing up for a fancy program or even buying a fancy piece of exercise equipment feels like the right first step. If I just invest in this one thing, surely I’ll stick with it. And sometimes that works out really well! But sometimes our Pelotons gather dust, and our $20 monthly fees pile up without us ever streaming a workout video. For others of us, we’ll commit to a tantalizing idea — I’m going to do CrossFit four times a week! — and then, if that idea doesn’t work out as we’d hoped, we feel defeated. Not to mention injuries, illness, time constraints, crappy days, and all the other things that can make great workout ideas feel totally unrealistic in practice.

I’m not going to lie to you, finding your exercise Thing really can take a lot of trial and error. But maybe simply knowing that there’s no one perfect Thing that works for everyone is helpful? I have a lot of my own thoughts and advice about this, but because the whole point of this is EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT, I thought it might be more useful to have a whole bunch of perspectives and ideas. So I crowdsourced! Here’s what I learned from folks on Substack and Instagram* when I asked them how they figured out what works well for them fitness-wise:

• “Trying lots of things and accepting that what another person loves I might not. Also accepting that discomfort is part of growing muscles vs a ‘bad’ thing that means [I should] ditch this sport.” — Lindsay

• “I just started at a gym 6 months ago that does hourlong workouts focused on weightlifting and strength building. It’s the first time in my life I look forward to working out and I think it’s because they make it easy — I show up and they tell me exactly what to do, how to do it, and I know they’re going to make sure I’m doing it safely. Feeling overwhelmed by decision making, complex movements, equipment, etc., can be a real barrier to exercising for me.
  “I also find that having it outside of my house is helpful. If I’m in my home, I prioritize other things on my to do list first and never give myself the time. This is a commitment I show up for and can’t do anything else while I’m there.” —

  Brigid May

• “I’m a big believer in drafting off your friends! I started yoga because I had a boss who saw all the physical issues I was having and took me with him to class.” — Mollie

• “As someone with ADHD, routines and habits are hard, so I have to really think about what motivates me and what makes things easier. Take away any extra steps. Find accountability that works for my brain, then what feels good in my body.” — Patti

• “I had never liked exercise, and then I was bored during Covid and signed up for a Zoom kettlebell class.” — Sofia

• “I struggle with the same thing when a workout program ends: what to do next. I tend to decide on what I want to focus on and go from there. Strength, flexibility, cardio, a combination. I usually need to try a few things before I find what feels the best. Even a different instructor for the same type of workout can make a difference!” — Aileen

• “Honestly I still don’t know what to do in a gym or how much to do it. That’s why I never go. I finally got into regular exercise by finding things that I felt are fun and don’t require me to think so much about how much or how well I am doing them, like kickboxing, pickleball, and yoga.” —

  Melissa Maracle

• “Exercise is great, but I was dying to play a sport! I found a beginner meet up group, and now I participate 2–4 times a week, playing or practicing. Having something to really look forward to has been the biggest incentive. I’ve stuck with it for 7 months now, and my goal is to keep getting better!! So fun to start something from 0 in your 30s!” — Annie

• “Rock climbing really clicked for me because of the combination of movement and community. To really get into it, I need something beyond exercising for the sake of exercising.” — Kristen

• “I got into both cycling and rock climbing while we were living in Korea. Prior to that I was pretty averse to all exercise actually — I had asthma when I was little so I always sat out running the mile, and never got over my fears associated with just feeling really uncomfortable moving in my body. Cycling happened because we didn’t have a car. Rock climbing happened because we just happened to start doing it to blow off steam with this really supportive, laid back, and enthusiastic group of climbers. I’ve stuck with both for the last 10 years.” — Andrea

• “Accessibility and repeatability for me! I used to love to ride my bike for half an hour, but it’s not as possible where I live now. Walking is something I’ve always done, and I like being in the woods with my dog, so daily walking/hiking is not only something I enjoy but I enjoy spending time with my dog so it feels less like ‘exercise.’ We’ve also talked recently about swimming” [ED NOTE: Here’s what Melvin told me about swimming, in a separate conversation. I love this! It sounds so much more fun than swimming regular laps, which I find super intimidating: “I tried the typical way of swimming for a couple of laps, and I was going very hard and was very tired very quickly, which for me wasn’t the point of doing it. So I mostly swim on my back and sort of flap my arms like you see squid do in nature videos, and kick my leggies like a windup toy for the bathtub. I found a style of swimming laps that felt comfortable and good and relaxing and repeatable for me.”] “Joining the Y has proved very cost-effective, as was the municipal pool I was going to for a year before, and I had no idea I was going to enjoy swimming as much as I do.” — Melvin

• “I tore my meniscus at start of pandemic and had to stop running and boot camp. I realized I was always trying too much and was always slightly injured. Walking was all I could do… but walking 4 miles daily became my thing. It’s physical and like my Prozac. And I have maintained that daily habit for years now (a dog helps too).” — Patti (different one!)

• “As a dancer, movement has always been part of the package. Pilates came at my ballet academy when I was 15, yoga in college at 18. When I stopped dancing professionally I tried almost everything, and I kept the things that made me feel connected and ready. By ready, I mean ready for anything. Exercise that made me feel like I could jump over a puddle if needed, or out of the way of a cab. Or suddenly run to safety. Or do a high kick or split if needed [ED NOTE: LOL]. Something that gave me energy and presence. Over time I’ve also decided what takes precedence based on staying pain free, helps me poop well, and balances my mental health.” — Alissa

• “I haven’t ‘found it’ yet, but will say that I am in this boat right now. And I kept putting off starting because I didn’t know what my thing is or should be! So finally I just started with walking. I am still searching for a routine or workout that’s going to work for me and where I’m at, but I do at least feel like I’m starting on a path by incorporating daily walks. And great for my mental health too!” — Angela

• “I was a high school athlete who trained pretty hard, realized I hated it and stopped exercising for a decade, tried all the ‘girly’ stuff that was hot in like 2011 (yoga, so much yoga, just never connected with the pace or the way I felt doing it). Was living in the Middle East in a SUPER intense job where I felt constantly judged for my age (young, then) and gender — spending 2–3 hours a day commuting to refugee camps and back. It felt so weird but I had to do SOMETHING intense — and frankly a bit painful physically — to get over melting into the couch alone at the end of every day. So uhhh yeah, CrossFit (but with incredible Muslim female coaches) and discovering I just liked bro stuff even though I am naturally terrible at it. Lifting something and the focus it required at that time helped me think about anything other than work — which was insanely intense and emotionally draining. Call it avoidance or whatever, but it got me looking forward to exercising. Fast forward to now where I’ve broken and seriously dislocated fingers — and can’t do CrossFit or Olympic weightlifting. I am struggling to find anything I connect with! The level of mental focus and feeling BIG ranges of motion and the power of that has been hard to replicate. Sigh.” — Alex

• “I focused on what I thought was the most fun and the most accessible. That looks like some dynamic stretches that feel good to do, and an under-the-desk treadmill where I will walk at 2.5 mph while watching TV.” —

  Michael Van Ness

Oh my gosh, I have so many thoughts about so many of these (TV is truly the only way for me to make cardio tolerable, lifting heavy shit in a slightly scary format is definitely my favorite way to clear my mind, rock climbing sounds incredible, maybe I need a dog? etc.), but overall, just a big WOW. I love hearing these ideas and about your paths toward incorporating more movement into your lives! You’re all amazing. It’s just so fun thinking about all of you out there, doing your stuff.

Anyway! I hope something here resonated with you. This is definitely not the last time we’ll discuss this, so send any related questions or suggestions my way. And please leave more ideas and stories in the comments. Getting started is truly the hardest part, and we don’t talk about it enough!

Let’s keep going.

xo
Anna

*A note on Instagram: I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m weird about Instagram! I have some baggage from being a magazine editor during the rise of social media and feeling this (misguided, IMO) professional pressure to create a Personal Brand. Now I feel kind of cagey and shy about it? I’m definitely active on Instagram, but my account is private and I don’t currently have plans to accept followers I don’t know (although I do have a lot of followers I don’t know, which I may purge at some point?) I don’t knowwww. It’s all weird. I’m sorry if you’ve requested to follow me and I’ve left you hanging! Maybe I’ll start another account? I’m rambling! This is too much! OK, bye!